Stuff Christians Like #18: Sign Language to Worship Songs

When you visit a mega-church for the first time, you will inevitably see a middle aged woman with librarian glasses, a suit jacket with shoulder pads, and a neckerchief, whom you assume has A LOT of cats, doing sign language during worship. If it’s anywhere near a major holiday, you may get the bonus of seeing her children waving banners while she signs. Please do not confuse these motions with youth group worship songs that include motions, like spinning in a circle, or raising your hands at a specific point.  This is actual sign language.

  At first glance, although it’s awkward, most people feel a sense of unity when they look at the sign language lady. Although the hearing impaired make up a decidedly very small minority of our population, it’s amazing to note how many independant and Baptist churches have their very own sign langauge lady.

 It’s exciting to think that you are part of a group of people where those with disabilities are included and accommodated for; but then something funny happens as you attend week after week.  You realize that there isn’t actually anyone in the room who is deaf!!! What? Pray tell? There isn’t actually any deaf people there? That’s right… for some bizarre reason, having the skill of signing is like people who can juggle, speak Spanish, or do a really great breakdancing move.  IT’S..LIKE….THEY..HAVE… THIS… COMPULSION… no matter the inappropriateness of the occasion, they must whip out their “hidden talent.” 

So.. although the sign language lady can be off-putting, think of her in the same category as your friend who magically morphs into a Spanish accent while ordering food at a Mexican restaurant, or your friend who will just randomly start juggling the dinner rolls at a dinner party, and then tell you how they used Juggling for Jesus with streetkids while they were in Africa last summer. 

I have had my own “run-ins” with the sign language lady in my time growing up in a Baptist church.  For those who read my Amy & Disabilities post, I think this is where my poor etiquette with the disabled began.  I was bored to tears in church one day.. listening to the karaoke special music, and counting the rocks in the backdrop behind the stage just wasn’t cutting it, BUT then the tide turned when my Aunt offered me a pen and piece of paper to color on.  I colored and doodled, played MASH with the names of boys I liked, but then grew bored again.  So, I began to unscrew and take apart the pen.  And wouldn’t ya know it, but it had this nifty little spring inside!  I thought this was the coolest time killer ever, so I began pushing on the ink tube against the tension of the spring, and would then watch it BOING! into the palm of my hand.  BOING! BOING! BOING! bye bye boredom. This is where it got ugly….

    For once, there WAS ACTUALLY SOME DEAF PEOPLE IN CHURCH! And the sign language lady, had her day to shine!  This time, she didn’t need to sit with her family, but rather got to stand in front of the whole row of pews facing the congregation, & Signing for the world to see!!! SO… as I am sitting in my pew, along with everyone else, minus the sign language lady who is signing for special music… BOING! BOING! you can guess what happened… the ink missed my palm, and shot literally 9 rows ahead to bing the sign language lady in the forehead!!! The next time you visit a church and witness the sign language lady in her full glory,  I hope you think of me, and find a degree of amusement.