Embarrassing High School Experiences

Okay I referred to something that happened to me back in High School a few hours ago in a comment on our “Kissing Dating Goodbye” post. I’ll tell the story because embarrassing myself is one of my spiritual gifts. Here’s the story.

I used to go to my friends youth group. One year I got invited to join them on a ski trip up in the Poconos. On this trip was a new girl. I wasn’t dating anyone at the time and we had a good conversation on the bus ride back to the church. We got back and then, if I remember correctly, had youth group. This girls friend came up to me after youth group and told me that her friend wanted to “hook up” with me and did I want to “hook up” with her? Here’s where I become a dork. I though hook up meant “go on a date” not make out. I said sure, let’s hook up. I was thinking we’d go to Friendlies after youth group with the other 40 youth group kids. My suave plan was to sit next to her and probably pay for her ice cream.

To give you a picture of how non-studly I was you should know that for me getting up the courage to hold a girls hand usually took a month or two. Kissing was what happened before I had a serious talk with her dad about my career prospects.

So the friend goes back to the girl and says, “yes he wants to hook up”. She motions me over and we casually walk back into some woods behind the gym. This was “that spot” apparently for other youth group kids but again, I didn’t know.  I was thinking “cool woods.”  We were chatting and I realized later she was waiting for me to make my move. My move was to climb one of the trees and hang up-side down from one of the branches by my knees. Then I saw a friend of mine pass by with a frisbee so I called them back there to join the two of us and have a catch

Later on her friend asked me why I hadn’t hooked up with her. It was here that I realized she meant something entirely different from what I was thinking. The tree climbing incident and her attitude took on a whole new meaning at that point. I wasn’t too bothered though because I wouldn’t have been into someone who was that ready to hook up.

Stuff Christians Like #19: Kissing Dating Goodbye

Everyone knows that Christians love marriage, particularly early marriage.  I mean, the most exciting 7th Heaven episodes were always the ones involving marriage or engagement!  If you visit just about any suburban church you will immediately be overwhelmed with the amount of PR dedicated to marriage & family, regardless of the fact that only 1/2 of the population is married.  From the picture on the bulletin, to the pictures behind the text on the powerpoint, to the teddy bears on the stage during Mother’s Day, christians love marriage!  This is why it can be so confusing when a christian tells you they are kissing dating goodbye.  WHAT? KISSING IT GOODBYE???!!  Isn’t that the path to the ultimate christian status?!

Here is what you must understand about kissing dating goodbye… 

Although they are abandoning the concept of dating, they will argue they are replacing it with something more “biblical”: & they are referring to courtship.  At first this can sound hyper serious, and the individual may be so excited that you could begin to wistfully believe that courtship is some sort of higher form of dating.   DO NOT BE CONFUSED!  The courtship advocates will say the differences lies in the fact that they do not date anyone until they believe they will marry them, and that they ask the girl’s parents for permission to “court,” which could lead to marriage.  So, what? pray tell? is the difference between courtship and really intense dating at Bible College?   The answer is nothing. As a new member in a church you may feel that courtship is a nuanced position that everyone gets but you, but do not be alarmed…. the non-courtshipping christians don’t get it either.  

To aid the newcomer in fitting in dating wise, they should employ some of the following pick up lines and advice, which will allow them to enter the Christian dating scene, without having to kiss dating goodbye… 

For girls: keep your eyes peeled for “emo-ho’s.”  These guys are rampant at Bible & Christian colleges.  If they were non-christians, they’d be frat boys hooking up with a different girl each weekend, but that isn’t exactly allowed.  The alternative is for them to enter into emo-ho territory.  Their MO is very simple.. they have very brief, yet emotionally intense relationships with multiple girls each semester.  Each girl is lead to believe that they are “the one.”  So, if you know a guy is in a serious relationship with someone else, yet asks you to go to Starbucks because he “just needs someone to talk to, and his roommates are all not deep enough.” or he wants to hang out with you b/c he, “just wrote new song on his acoustic guitar, but his girlfriend just doesn’t get his musical side,”  RUN FOR THE HILLS!

For guys… You are expected to take charge right?  Well, here are some pick up lines to help you along:

-God told me we were going to get married, want to go to Friendly’s?

-That’s a great bracelet, “what would Jesus date?” I  mean, “do.”

-My favorite book of the Bible is Song of Solomon, do you know what it means in Hebrew?

-You’re my sister in Christ! We have to hug!

-Do you believe in Divine Appointment? B/C I am reading this great book about pre-destination.

-Do you need a ride to church?

-I made this list of the top 10 things I wanted in my wife back in youth group, and you have 11 of them.

-Want to sit next to me in the last seat of the van?

-Can I carry your Bible for you? It looks heavy.

-Can I add your phone number to our prayer chain?

-It’s not coveting if you’re destined to be mine.

-What’s your love language? I have all five.

Pie & Prostitution Part 2

I’m back after my long hiatus.  Several weeks ago I posted two examples of how voices in our culture approach issues of personal responsibility, morality and poverty.  See that post here.  Read on as I more fully develop these concepts, if you haven’t read the original post, It’d be helpful to check it out for the purpose of discussion.

Story 1: The Pie Analogy

I heard this from Glenn Beck.  His point was that America is not a zero-sum economy.  In other words if I buy a TV or earn a dollar I’m not at the same time taking it from someone else.  I agree with this.  There is a socialistic idea that says your success is always at the expense of someone else’s loss.  That’s not true.  

Glenn made the statement that America isn’t a pie to divide up, it’s a pie factory.  This is true in that America is about possibility and potential.   One of the things I love about America is our fundamental belief that we prosper through innovation and hard work; not through who your dad was or what color your skin is.  One of the most frustrating things to me is that conservatives like Glenn Beck seem to think this dream is a reality.  Prosperity IS to an enormous degree dependent on things that have NOTHING to do with hard work.  They have everything to do with where you happen to be born, what color your skin is, or who your parents were. 

His pie factory analogy fails in assuming everyone has the same potential, that we’re in a fair society.  Several blocks from where I’m sitting is the worst school district in Pennsylvania.  I found out this morning that sometimes when there’s no teacher for a class students will just sit in a classroom and that will be their “algebra” class.  Think about that.  What if your education was a series of study halls?  What if those classes that weren’t study halls had one book for 25 students (an experience my wife has had working in urban schools)?  This isn’t something that happened five years ago in some place far away.  This is happening tomorrow as thousands of students who’s only fault was being born several blocks from where I’m sitting, to parents who can’t afford a private school.

 I get that there are success stories of people overcoming enormous odds.  No one should use use victimization as an excuse, but that does not mean victimization is not a reason.  Reasons and excuses are two different things.  Illustrations like Glenn’s don’t seem to take into account that boot strap morality is only sufficient in a fair society. 

Story 2

Surprise! Story two is from the Bible in Hosea chapter 4.  The same progression takes place that I described in my post.  The priests are idolatrous and corrupt and as a result so are the people.  Men turn to idolatry, alcohol and prostitution.  As a result the Lord says this in Hosea 4:14

“I will not punish your daughters when they turn to prostitution, nor your daughters-in-law when they commit adultery, because the men themselves consort with harlots and sacrifice with shrine prostitutes- a people without understanding will come to ruin!” 

I understand this is not all the Bible has to say on morality.  I used his “trick” illustration to show that our typically evangelical ways of understanding morality and personal responsibility are often much more about American politics than they are the Bible.  Often “christian politics” uses terms like “welfare mom” and treats people who are in poverty because of their sins (especially sexual sins) differently than they treat other sins.  

The Bible says if you do not work you will not eat.  That verse is invoked against social welfare programs all the time by Christians.  What is really meant is if you’re working hard but underemployed we won’t help you, but if you’re rich and lazy you can eat.  What church would care if a rich guy retired at 45?  They’d probably envy him.  It shows what we mean when we say “no work no eating” really means to us “no money no eating”.  

Our unjust world in its injustice has distributed opportunity and hardship unfairly.  Therefore for anyone to act as if they achieved all their wealth only through their own hard work is itself an act of injustice.  

Book Review: Lush Life by Richard Price

I am a complete literary snob, so I do not exactly dole out accolades for many books that reach the bestseller list in America. Lush Life, is a huge exception. The reason I tend to be lukewarm about many books is because of the lack of character development, mediocre depictions of conversations, or a simplistic plot. Most books seem to have one of the positive sides of those, and at best two of those qualities, but Lush Life has all three. It is the story of a murder of a young aspiring actor in the rapidly gentrifying lower east side, the impact it has on a neighborhood, a police precinct, and the dead man’s family.

At first glance, Lush Life is a gripping, gritty NYC detective story; a “who-dun-it” for the 21st Century, but that is just the momentum of the basic story line. When you weave in Price’s uncanny skill at writing dialogue, his history of the neighborhood, and creating a movie like background for your mind with his words, it elevates it to another level.

Under the surface, what Lush Life is really about is the gentrification of the Lower East Side in NYC. The book has an almost journalistic feel b/c Price offers no opinion on whether or not he is for or against gentrification, he merely takes the imbedded reporter approach as the narrative shifts from the cops patrolling the streets, to the first and second generation immigrants, the hipsters trying to make it at their crafts, and the adolescents who see no options outside of gang life. The best part about the book is the way the story line drifts between the clashing of interests of each group vying for jobs, opportunities, and real estate.

The one thing that held me as the reader back from finishing more quickly was the grittiness of the book. There is minor violence, and although the plot draws you in, and makes you want to stay up late to finish one last chapter, I often found myself putting it down. Not because I was weary of it, but because it was a little like watching Law & Order SVU for way too many episodes in a row. For someone more hardened, than my ’softie’ self, this would likely not be an issue.

Stuff Christians Like #18: Sign Language to Worship Songs

When you visit a mega-church for the first time, you will inevitably see a middle aged woman with librarian glasses, a suit jacket with shoulder pads, and a neckerchief, whom you assume has A LOT of cats, doing sign language during worship. If it’s anywhere near a major holiday, you may get the bonus of seeing her children waving banners while she signs. Please do not confuse these motions with youth group worship songs that include motions, like spinning in a circle, or raising your hands at a specific point.  This is actual sign language.

  At first glance, although it’s awkward, most people feel a sense of unity when they look at the sign language lady. Although the hearing impaired make up a decidedly very small minority of our population, it’s amazing to note how many independant and Baptist churches have their very own sign langauge lady.

 It’s exciting to think that you are part of a group of people where those with disabilities are included and accommodated for; but then something funny happens as you attend week after week.  You realize that there isn’t actually anyone in the room who is deaf!!! What? Pray tell? There isn’t actually any deaf people there? That’s right… for some bizarre reason, having the skill of signing is like people who can juggle, speak Spanish, or do a really great breakdancing move.  IT’S..LIKE….THEY..HAVE… THIS… COMPULSION… no matter the inappropriateness of the occasion, they must whip out their “hidden talent.” 

So.. although the sign language lady can be off-putting, think of her in the same category as your friend who magically morphs into a Spanish accent while ordering food at a Mexican restaurant, or your friend who will just randomly start juggling the dinner rolls at a dinner party, and then tell you how they used Juggling for Jesus with streetkids while they were in Africa last summer. 

I have had my own “run-ins” with the sign language lady in my time growing up in a Baptist church.  For those who read my Amy & Disabilities post, I think this is where my poor etiquette with the disabled began.  I was bored to tears in church one day.. listening to the karaoke special music, and counting the rocks in the backdrop behind the stage just wasn’t cutting it, BUT then the tide turned when my Aunt offered me a pen and piece of paper to color on.  I colored and doodled, played MASH with the names of boys I liked, but then grew bored again.  So, I began to unscrew and take apart the pen.  And wouldn’t ya know it, but it had this nifty little spring inside!  I thought this was the coolest time killer ever, so I began pushing on the ink tube against the tension of the spring, and would then watch it BOING! into the palm of my hand.  BOING! BOING! BOING! bye bye boredom. This is where it got ugly….

    For once, there WAS ACTUALLY SOME DEAF PEOPLE IN CHURCH! And the sign language lady, had her day to shine!  This time, she didn’t need to sit with her family, but rather got to stand in front of the whole row of pews facing the congregation, & Signing for the world to see!!! SO… as I am sitting in my pew, along with everyone else, minus the sign language lady who is signing for special music… BOING! BOING! you can guess what happened… the ink missed my palm, and shot literally 9 rows ahead to bing the sign language lady in the forehead!!! The next time you visit a church and witness the sign language lady in her full glory,  I hope you think of me, and find a degree of amusement.

Finally Done

After three years of never reading the books I want to and a week typing nonstop I finally handed in my last assignment for Seminary.  I feel like the guy who crosses the finish line then starts to weep curled up on the ground, a withered husk of what he was when he began.  I’m going to bed, I think I slept 7 of the past 48 hours but I can’t do complicated math like that when I’m this exhausted. 

FLDS Raid Part II

In my part I post on the FLDS raid, I noted that according to our government, polygamy is illegal, and should not be practiced in the US.  However, when it comes to the FLDS church, a religious institution, this group holds polygamy as a spiritual discipline, so why should it not be respected and protected under the Constitution?  I am obviously playing devil’s advocate, but the tension is real. 

An argument is often made about keeping religion out of the public square, and for the most part, I agree. I am wholeheartedly against having the 10 commandments in courthouses and the Bible in public school. If you have to have the Bible, then you must honor the Qu’ran, Kabbalah, and by definition… the FLDS church. But, it is so fascinating to watch which pieces we choose to legislate on and which we do not. We all have views, and they will be expressed in our social policy.  

 There is rarely a bright line as to what constitutes something being illegal, and what makes it legal.  Polygamy, for example, was outlawed in the late 1800’s in direct response to Mormonism.  The spread of Mormonism had caused a host of controversy and violence b/w the church and the govt.  (You can read about in Under the Banner of Heaven, which I referenced in my previous post)  Interestingly enough, at the risk of sounding like the “founding fathers types” who find Christianity in everything from pumpkins to the mayflower, to the pilgrims;   the argument that was used was that America is a Christian nation, and does not permit polygamy, therefore, we have grounds to outlaw the practice.  Years following this, the Mormon church officially changed their stance to be against polygamy, and even tried to hide the fact that their founding father was a polygamist himself. 

However, freedom of religion is core to what it is to be American, so why do we still ban polygamy? What about immigrants who have multiple wives?

In the OT all of our heroes of the faith were polygamists and God did not explicitly ban it.  Does this mean it was okay in the OT, and not in the NT and thereafter?   How can something be sin for one generation and not for another? Isn’t sin, sin?  These issues can be really confusing, and I will offer no exegetical answer, i will let your comments and a future post by meade debate that.  It is such a tricky subject, b/c you have to ask the question, “If the FLDS members practicing polygamy were not abusing children and it was between multiple consenting adults, who are we to judge? Do we then judge Moses? David? Solomon?” What do you think?

For me, and I guess this is my feminist side coming through… my question always is… why is polygamy always one way?  For instance.. I have never heard of one woman with multiple husbands. Why is it okay in the OT and in Mormonism for there to be one man with his little gang of chicks, but not one woman with her gang of hot hubbies?

 

FLDS Texas Child Welfare Raid Part I

Unless you have been really isolating yourself from the media over the past few weeks, you are likely aware that child protective services in Texas conducted a raid on an FLDS (not to be confused with the Mormon church, which Mitt Romney is a part of, FLDS is a splinter group) compound based on allegations of sexual abuse, welfare fraud, domestic violence, and marriage of underage girls to older men.

 A few hundred children were taken into state protective services while the mess is sorted out.  Since the children & the adults have been indoctrinated to believe all outsiders are the enemy, they are confounding officials by lying about whose child is whose, lying about their ages, and their names.  Most of the children do not have birth certificates b/c they were delivered at home. You can read an article from the Salt Lake Times here. 

 The absolute best book I have read regarding Mormonism & the difference between Mormon’s and the FLDS is Jon Krakauer’s book, Under the Banner of Heaven.  I cannot recommend it enough.  The thing I appreciate so much about his book is that it is extremely religiously unbiased and written from a journalistic perspective, not a religious one.  Even if you would not call yourself a reader, this book will keep you interested.  I would lend it to you, but my cousin has it and I don’t think I will ever see it again (that was 3 years ago).

         The raid has sparked  A LOT of controversy from professionals of every type, and if you listen closely to the arguments being leveled against the authorities, they fall broadly into one of two camps:

1.) Religious persecution- people claim that unless the child is underage that is given in marriage, this behavior (polygamy) is a religious issue, not a moral issue that should be dealt with in the public square.  This is violating their rights. The claim also runs the course of saying that the state should not be interfering with matters of child welfare except in the most extreme of circumstances.. i.e. the “isolated” case within the compound.

2.)  Emotional Outrage- People in general are very upset at seeing children separated from their mothers en masse (over 400 in all).  Many, many people are comparing this to the US government treating the kids like cattle, or the treatment of those of Asian descent during WWII. But… I would like to quickly point out, that this is not a quaint Texas version of Lancaster’s Amish… this is a community known and documented to practice religion by marrying off young girls to older men.  I mean, I know the outfits are hot, and I have always wanted to sport a wide collar myself, but come on!

I am fascinated by this story b/c it highlights the on-going debate in the child welfare world of the direction of policy regarding children who come into contact with state protective services for suspected abuse, and the debate it raises b/w the separation of church & state.  For years, the child welfare system was governed by a “parent-centric” philosophy, meaning, that you were preserve the family at all costs. The primary question asked was whether or not the home was ’suitable.”  This lead to the common picture most have of children languishing in care for years while their parents may or may not meet goals. 

 Fortunately, in my opinion, we have shifted away from the philosphy in 1997 when ASFA (adoption & safe families act) was enacted which put limits on kids being in care.  The field shifted from a “parent-centric” position who saw the parent or family as the client, to a “child-centric” position whose primary question is “what is in the best interest of the child.” Under ASFA, child safety is the highest priority.  If this shift had not taken place, it is highly doubtful that such a raid would have taken place. 

If you question parents of any cultural background on what children need to thrive, you will be hard pressed to find someone who lists safety as the only characteristic.  It would be utterly absurd to argue that because your child is consistently hungry and suffering delays from a lack of food, but is not yet dying, you can be declared a fit and suitable parent.  NO, that is ludicrous, yet, that is exactly how our current policies and child welfare systsm make decisions.

Excited expectant mother’s do not walk around in their ninth month saying, “I can’t wait to protect my baby from harm.” NO, they wait eagerly to nurture the life they have carried within them. We have a frightening and despicable double standard for children. For children in “normal” families we define a good parent as one who is loving and nurturing, but in child welfare we do not define parents as “good” or “bad” simply suitable. 

When we create policies that make serious bodily harm the primary indicator for whether or not a parent should maintain parental rights (not all the FLDS parents abused their kids, right? hmmm..) , we fail and create conditions ripe for another round of abuse and neglect.  This is why I cannot understand folks arguing that these kids should stay with their moms during this investigation.   That is like making the kids the canary in the mind shaft…. put them back in… if abuse happens, then we will take them away for good!  what? Since when do we allow people a second chance to harm children, whether or not they believe it’s religiously okay?

Researchers have long docmented the link b/w childhood abuse and the likelihood of becoming an abuser, so while the state of Texas has taken exreme measures, that just may be what it takes to stop a cycle of abuse in this situation.  There is no question as to whether or not the abuse is occurring, the question is the degree of abuse.  But.. given the environment of abuse, linked to controlling religious beliefs, the situation will recapitulate if allowed to continue.

ASFA’s safety focus is a remarkable step compared with former family preservation efforts, but does not go far enough.  It is not enough to protect from injury and sexual abuse, we are inconsistent with our own parenting values if that is our policy and practice standard. This double standard also leads to a serious lack of funding for stretched agencies. 

If we keep funding at the absolute minimum, with a very low social safety net, as some advocate, you are then forced to only pursue suitability, instead of the values we aspire to for our own families.  In one of my earliest social work ethics classes in undergrad, we were given a case study about whom we would place a child with following their parents death. The case was one of those horrid (I found out later that is what a lot of social work is, it is always a bizarre set of circumstances) examples where it was the lesser of two evils.  My prof pushed us hard saying constantly… “If this were your child, which family would you pick?”  So.. the same applies… “If this were my child, how much funding would I allocate for child protective services? would I want my kid with the FLDS church while the state investigated?”

FYI: This post will be followed with a discussion on the intersection b/w polygamy, and religious rights.  Why is it practiced by all of our heroes of the faith, and outlawed by the American govt.?

Sexual Sin: Is it the Worst Kind of Sin? by guest author Joel

One Sunday morning a few weeks ago, a few of us were curiously perusing the “tract racks” at our church.  What we found horrified us and led to us disposing of many of the tracts post-haste.  The tracts’ crimes were pretty basic, some starting off on the wrong theological foot, others wading in with both fists into copyright infringement, etc.  One in particular, though, bothered me particularly and it’s stuck with me over the ensuing weeks.  It was entitled something like “Why Sexual Sin is the worst kind of sin” and was written by a nationally famous Pastor I had assumed to be pretty legitimate.  

It just immediately struck me as the worst kind of thing you could ever put on a tract.  Anyone who is struggling with a particular kind of sin has a lot of needs, and I would doubt that any of those needs includes hearing “Oh, you’re struggling with XYZ sin?  Oh, sure– that’s the worst kind of sin.”  

The more I’ve thought about it since then, I’ve come to realize that Sexual Sin is really the BEST kind of sin!  It’s actually, relatively speaking, a gift!  

Strap in for my defense of this statement.

See, we know that all sin is equal in God’s eyes.  And we know, in our heads, that every sin makes God sick to His Stomach (or the divine equivalent thereof.)  It’s the kind of thing we’ve heard about for years.  And yet I put it to you that we don’t fully understand how some sins truly make Him “feel” that way.  Because, let’s face it, whenever we say “all sins are equal in the sight of God,” we’re usually talking comparatively– talking about Sexual Sin vs. every other kind of sin.  Sometimes I think we’re never 100% sure whether the “rules” are for good, or whether they’re just there to be “rules.”  That’s where Sexual Sin comes in—we know, clearly why the rules are there–no other type of sin is so gloriously destructive, so brilliantly life-shattering, and so powerfully vivid in the wide swath it cuts as it ruins lives.  On top of that, it’s such an incredibly efficient sin that it almost inevitably leads to more sin, from simple lying to your parents about “snogging” when you’re a teenager to, well, worse.  Like murder (David, etc.).  

And that’s why Sexual Sin is so great.  Yes, because it enables us to see, more clearly than any other sin, an earthly example of the ghastly toll that sin, any sin, takes.  See, we always carry on about how “all sins are equal” and what we’re doing, I think, is trying to dial down the sexual sin, when what we should be doing, in part, is ratcheting up in our minds the hideous effects of the other sins.  

When you see the smoking ruins of someone’s life (sometimes literally), instead of bolstering our secret convictions that, yeah, Sexual Sin is, in fact, worse, we could be thinking, as an exercise, wow, what other sins do I brush off that have these kinds of effects, just unseen.  My perfect go-to example for this is “gossip.”

Our church has a problem with gossip.  How do I know this?  It has a steeple and more than two people attend.  But truly–I’ve actually seen this sin at work in people’s lives (I can tell you specifically whom when we get together this week for coffee).  

If you think about it, church is basically a club—a “Let’s Beat Sin. . .Together” club, and somehow we’re not allowed to talk about each others’ struggles with sin?  (That’s just mean, God!)  Gossip is a great example as an “Other sins can include” List sin because the lure of it, the pure bestial joy we have when we’re about to hear about some putrid chunk of someone else’s life, well, it’s almost incomparable, isn’t it?  Almost.  And the effects of gossip are so insidious, so silent. . .that you might not notice the damage you’ve caused for years.  It’s magnificent.  

See, sin is the only thing on earth that doesn’t adhere to the Laws of Thermodynamics.  There’s no friction with sin, so no energy is ever lost, and the consequences get bigger the longer it goes unchecked.  The tiniest little lie, or story, or even wiggle of an eyebrow—you could power a church schism with it!  

Thankfully, due to the picture given to us by Sexual Sin, we can know exactly what we’re doing, in all spheres of our life.  We can be confident that the destruction wrought on the earthly plain by Sexual Sin is equal to that which we wreak on the heavenly plain for the “lesser-known” sins. 

To prove Sex sin’s place as the perfect earthly picture of the foul horror of sin, just look at what Satan tries to do—paint a picture of easy sexuality without consequences.  But of course—if something as obviously consequence-intensive as Sex can be made to seem consequence-free, then we can say, what on earth ARE those Christians railing on about with their tired old rules and regulations?!  They’re just trying to kill our fun.

Additionally, sexual sin the best because it can provide a perfect real-world litmus test for your faith.  I have a friend, a Christian “lifer,” who grew up insulated and virginal, who is getting set to marry someone who was more recently saved, as an adult.  Well, because of real life, the fiancée has a bit more of a “typical” past.  This simply crushes the lifer, two ways—one, the lifer has little experience in the “ways of the world,” so they’ve had no opportunity (blessedly) to be jaded by the easy sexuality of the world today.  Okay that’s good.  But the horror of what is now, sadly, commonplace, crushes the lifer—someone they love has been in that lifestyle.  Secondly, the so-clearly ugly consequences of this person’s past sins have awakened demons of jealousy (again, a perversion of a good thing) in the lifer’s heart.  But here is what is so great—if the lifer can embrace this person’s redeemed, forgiven, pure status in Jesus, the lifer’s faith is 100% affirmed!  It’s a truly and absolutely glorious opportunity to see whether you believe in redemption, and in the efficacy and power of the Blood.  Moreover, it’s so clearly a pass-fail test.  It’s just wonderful.  

I’ve always pictured myself instructing my as-yet unborn children in this area by telling them this:  Look guys, sins are sins.  They’re all hideous and yet there is forgiveness for all of them.  For Whatever Reason, some sins have consequences from which it is difficult or impossible to recover in an earthly sense.  A lot of these fall under a certain umbrella.  Maybe now I will add this:  It’s because sex is so illustrative of so many things, both in heaven and on earth, it’s because it can be so beautiful, that it can also be so frighteningly ugly.  There’s almost no end to what Sexual sin is teaching us if we’re looking at it in the proper light.  And perhaps I will say this–Do your best to learn from afar.  

Disclaimer:  Clearly some of this was written tongue-in-cheek, straddling the Screwtapeian line.  I wanted to see whether you could turn around the unfortunate statement made in the tract I referenced and make it somehow instructive.  All sins are bad and, unchecked, destroy your life.  Some more immediately and colorfully than others.

Innovative Recycling

Most people know that my husband and I are die-hard recycler’s!  So much so, that our son’s pre-school in Wallingford asks us to carry home the recycling for the class each week b/c their township does not pick it up.  That is funny for two reasons… 1.) Wallingford is next to Media which is America’s first fair trade coffee town, so why they don’t have recycling is a mystery to me, and  2.) They asked us, knowing we’d say yes.   Sometimes I have to laugh at myself.

  Anyways, in the spirit of the recent passing of Earth Day, I thought I’d pass on a suggestion from failblog.wordpress.com on a way that you can take recycling to the next level.  If you are one of those moms that is always stretching the life cycle of your children’s clothing by cutting off the footsies to your kids pj’s when they grow or cutting the arms off of sweaters to transform them into sweater vests, you will particularly appreciate this tip.