Several years ago I switched from PC to Mac. It was a very good decision as any of you who own a Mac already know. However, I have to say, this thing is pretty cool. I guess even a flying squirrel finds a nut once and a while.  Check it out Here.

This is a passage from C.S. Lewis’ book Perelandra. The hero Ransom is battling a demon possessed scientist. In my opinion it’s probably one of the best pieces of combat written. Here’s a selection.

The joy came from finding at last what hatred was made for. As a boy with an axe rejoices on finding a tree, or a boy with a box of colored chalks rejoices on finding a pile of perfectly white paper, so he rejoiced in the perfect congruity between his emotion and its object. Bleeding and trembling with weariness as he was, he felt that nothing was beyond his power, and when he flung himself upon the living Death, the eternal Surd in the universal mathematic, he was astonished, and yet (on a deeper level) not astonished at all, at his own strength. His arms seemed to move quicker than his thought. His hands taught him terrible things. He felt its ribs break, he heard its jaw-bone crack. The whole creature seemed to be cracking and splitting under his blows. His own pains, where it tore him, somehow failed to matter. He felt that he could so fight, so hate with a perfect hatred, for a whole year.

Admittedly I am not well up on the health care debates, as I have been completely mired in my exam for much of the summer.  So, if you are looking for a well-reasoned discussion of what the health care bill actually says (hint: there are no death panels in it Sarahcuda!), you will not find it here.  Although I have been to Canada several times, and I am still wondering where they are hiding all those dead or maimed Canadians destroyed by having access to healthcare.

Even with my lack of knowledge I do keep hearing this phrase and argument thrown out by conservatives every time they do not like a government proposal to do something… “Just look at what the government does, NOTHING! The less government the better! No taxes! Capitalism will solve everything! The invisible hand is actually the Holy Spirit!”

 

So, just for kicks I figured I would take a look at what my government is doing for me. (FYI- the US postal service is evil)

 

I am typing this blog post with electricity pumped through wires laid by the government, and I just finished writing my exam for the public university I attend.  I got into that university based on the good public education I had as kid, provided to me by some amazing public school teachers.  I have a job at a public university basically writing, again a skill that I developed in public school with a crazy teacher who taught me to write well. Prior to that job I worked again, at a public school that paid for my son’s adoption, which was facilitated by the federal government and some public social workers. Next year my son will attend Kindergarten and I do not have to pay for it.

 

 I attended undergrad, grad school, and phd programs with the assistance of government backed student loans. Without their existence, I would need to convince some sort of lender that a social worker going for a phd is a worthy investment when her spouse is pastor. I did my undergrad education at a religious school paid for by in-state tuition assistance.

 

 When I received a mysterious notice in the mail last year 2 days before the bank crisis saying the institution our money was with would no longer exist or do certain services, I did not have to worry because it was FDIC insured.

 

I drove to the coffee shop to write today on paved roads with stoplights, and drove past 2 nature preserves.  When I got there I had the privilege of knowing exactly what I was eating because the government says it has to be on the label.  I have a chronic illness that affects all I eat, but I can manage it when I read those mandated labels.

 On my way home I bought gas and did not have to worry about being blown up because regulations kept the gas station safe.  This morning I went to church in freedom. Unlike other pastor’s wives around the world, I do not have to fear he will lose his life due to his occupation.  After church we went to the pool and put sunscreen on our kids that did not have rat poison in it from some forgotten corner of the world, because it’s regulated. I know they need sunscreen because the commercials on public television give me public service announcements to tell me about skin cancer. 

 

 

I could say more, but that summed it up.

 

Just a thought, but maybe there’s a reason God did not say “no government,” he said “good government,” and he desires the following:

 

  I Timothy 2:1-3 “First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly, and dignified in every way.  This is Good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.”

People primarily acquire knowledge either scientifically or pseudo-scientifically.  Scientific knowledge is exactly what you think it is.. the scientific method you learned in middle school applied to a hypothesis.  Pseudo science is a lot trickier, and it is what’s primarily seen in the news, popularist economic, philosophy, and psychology books.  

 Pseudoscience is similar to what snake oil salesmen peddled in the past.  They claim that some specific method, idea, or knowledge is gospel truth when there is no evidence suggesting that it is. It becomes particularly problematic when snake oil becomes “sanctified,” or “political folklore.”  These legends are everywhere, and are often endorsed and funded by the media, government and the public.  US citizens are renowned for their assumption that majority opinion trumps that of experts.  The constant debates amongst moms about whether or not immunizations cause autism are a good example of this.  One random study 10 years ago suggested it might cause autism, and a panic wave was begun that the  mommy wars have not yet recovered from, despite those original authors retracting their claims, repeating their study and nullifying their results. Another example are the claims that global warming is false despite constant research to the contrary.  This is why entertainers like Glenn Beck and Michael Moore are so dangerous.  They conduct processes that “sanctify snake oil,” place it into a political narrative, and the American public devours it as truth, when it may or may not have a grain of truth within it. Its junk science that is warped as advocacy statistics designed to support preconceived notions instead of testing an appropriate hypothesis.  

Susan Sarnoff has designed a helpful construct to identify how pseudoscientific ideas become “sanctified snake oil,” in the court of public opinion, and ultimately endorsed or funded by the government. 

snake oil paradigm:

1. Frame the subject so it cannot be opposed (refuted)

2. Stretch the concept as broadly as possible (overgeneralization)

3. Use anecdotal evidence

4. If required to produce statistical proof, produce “cooked” data

5. Confuse goals and processes and satisfaction with effectiveness (not properly operationalized)

6. Ignore unintended consequences (problem here is responsibility to own up to limitations).

The sanctification paradigm

1. write media stories based on single outlying cases

2. publish statistics without confirming accuracy or referring to source

3. publish research without discussing methodology

4. bury corrections and retractions.

 

I find it particularly fascinating to read the news through these two constructs, it provides great insight into function that a story or an entertainer is attempting to peddle.  Applying it to the healthcare debates is a phenomenal example of this. 

All of that being said, empirical or scientific studies are no guarantee either.  There are plenty of examples of “cooked” research studies funded with a trajectory hypothesis set out to ‘prove’ a pre-conceived notion.  IE- the only major published studies saying that global warming is false have been funded by Exxon.

 hmmmm…..

Churches and Christian self-help books are particularly at risk for junk science and advocacy stats when it comes to parenting and Christian pop-psych books.  That is a tempting entire post in and of itself, but think through Sarnoff’s construct when you are evaluating whether or not to use the latest much-hyped Christian cure all book for one ailment or another in your ministry.    I am increasingly alarmed by the very very well-meaning Pastors publishing books on clinical depression or child rearing with claims of expertise in an area where they have not been professionally trained.  I have read entire popular Christian books on both of those topics where grand statements are made about child development or mental health with zero references or credentials, and boosted by advocacy statistics taken from someone’s small group at a mega-church.  I do not say that to be harsh, but to critically assess.  

How can ministry leaders use the above construct to assist them in determining the best materials or approach for something they are designing?

The 50’s are my favorite whipping boy, for their

1.) Revisionist history

2.) The oddity of Christians clinging to it

3.) This bizarre notion that it was the “good ole’ days, when men were men and women were women.” (or something like that).  

Oh sigh…. these were the good ole’ days?  While these are primarily hilarious… I find it interesting to compare them to the sexualization of female images in the media now, that we argue against constantly.  Are these pictures really that different? 

I have seen these clips elsewhere, usually in textbooks, but could never find them online.. My friend TJ alerted me to them.  FYI.. he’s a great designer check out his site. 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHUBBIES!!! Own it people! If your child is overweight, assist their classmates and siblings in choosing a nickname by which to tease them and have this catalog shipped express to your home! Cut to the chase, buy them plus size clothing, complete with an offensive label, and you can short cut the whole teasing process and speed up the economy in 30 years by providing fodder for the therapist they will eventually need as a boomer!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wow! Has Sarah Palin aged well or what?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ah yes, who needed the women’s movement? Let’s go back to the 50’s! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you buy our product for your son at war, he’ll be happy he was shot!  ”Can’t keep a good man down…” this just begs the question… “What happens to the bad man?” body bag?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No! Of course it’s not always illegal to KILL a woman!  Everyone knows if she mis-applies postage you are well within your male rights to off her! Good thing your momma bought your entire fam that daisy rifle!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This one defies them all to me… you can’t see it in the fine print, but it’s a lysol ad implying that she is being (ahem) “denied” by her spouse because she forgot to use lysol 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I guess this woman took it too far, she obviously didn’t buy enough chase brand coffee, lysol, or ship his mail properly. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I don’t know what it is Mr. therapist, but every time I think of sausage I feel like cutting myself.” 

That’s it, I’m a vegetarian.

 

*** Bonus points to the reader who knows which of these are snopes-worthy

In the past few weeks the news has been flooded with talking points on two highly profiled race cases.  First, there were allegations that a private Philly suburban swim club rescinded a membership to a predominately Black camp group following complaints from White members.   Witnesses say White parents pulled their children out of the pool when the other kids arrived, made racial slurs, and then complained to management. The swim club owner went on television saying he, “didn’t want to change the complexion of the club,” but then went on to invite the group back after public outcry. Management claimed safety concerns were the real reason they pulled the membership, as the story went national and hit every major news outlet in the country.  

Last week, a prominent Black Harvard professor was arrested for disorderly conduct after arguing with police officers who came to investigate him breaking into his own home because he lost his keys.  Even upon proving it was his home, tempers flared on both sides, and the cops then arrested him.  

I am not writing this to argue the merits of either side of these cases, nor to comment on how they are indicative of how we do not live in post-racial America.  The issue with both of these cases is the way the media and the public have used the Cambridge police and the Swim Club as scape goats.  The way racism, like all sin, works is that it pervades our culture and communities in such a way that it breaks the fabric of Shalom.  It inserts its evil into everything.  Ultimately, every action I take is laced with some sin, some selfishness, some flaw that I cannot see, and is the equivalent of me giving God the finger thinking I can do it my way. 

Racism is not an academic thought, or a social ill that we can cure. It is a sin that pervades all of the institutions in our society.  We cannot escape it, even if we want to, or think we can. The problem with these two stories is that they allow us to point the finger at Cambridge, and point the finger at the swim club owner.  They are dramatic stories that provide us with a fire escape for ourselves, because it shows us how racist someone else may be.  We demonize both groups, justly or unjustly, without looking at our own thoughts, intentions, power dynamics, or social institutions that have created the situations ripe for gross misconduct to occur. 

As long as our national conversation about race and class is only sparked when there is an ‘outlier’ of injustice, rather than an on-going dialogue about the pervasive injustice occurring all around us, we will be unable to see the structural and individual brokenness and sin that leads to oppression.  It is a lot easier to yell foul play at the White swim club, than it is to examine our own attitudes, agendas, and social arrangements from which we benefit.

I found this quotation from John Owen this morning in one of my commentaries as I was preparing to preach on Daniel 3.

As a traveler, in his way meeting with a violent storm of thunder and rain, immediately turns out of his way to some house or tree for his shelter, but yet this causes him not to give over his journey-so soon as the storm is over he returns to this way and progress is made again; so it is with man in bondage to sin. They are n the road…the Law [of God] meets with them in a storm of thunder and lightening from heaven, terrifies and hinders them in their way. This turns them for a season out of their road; they will run to prayer or amendment of life, for some shelter from the storm of wrath which is feared coming upon their consciences. But is their course stopped? are their principles altered? Not at all; so soon as the storm is over…the terror wears off…and they are back on their road.

As Tim Keller says “Fear-based morality wears off”.

I am obsessed with books, but even more obsessed with outdoor sports, travel and adventure.  If I had a second life I would be an adventure travel consultant and guiding service.. no joke.   So, therefore, it is no surprise that I love adventure memoirs more than almost any other type of book.  I have read literally all the most commonly seen titles in an REI or EMS, and here are my top picks.  Other people read supermarket mysteries at the beach, but these are my all-time summer favorites. Please pick a few up (or borrow) if you have or wish you had an adventurous spirit it’s worth the read. 

(In no order, I tried and simply couldn’t rank them!)

1.) A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson.

Bryson, travel writer extraordinaire is an “expat” of sorts who had been living in the UK for several years before moving back to the US with his family to settle in New England.  He discovers the Appalachian Trail goes right through his community  and runs from Maine to Georgia.  Much to the chagrin of his teenage son, who is embarrassed at his exploits, he immediately decides he will hike the AT in its entirety, even though exercise is something he historically watches other people do rather than take it up himself.  The book is Bryson’s memoir of life on the trail, and my husband and I have read it on our own or out loud to each other in the car on climbing and national park trips for close to ten years. I don’t want to spoil it, but this book is part environmental history, part comedy, and part adventure. There are characters in the book that will stay with you forever.  If you are an outdoors person, chances are these characters will mirror those you have encountered on the trail or at the rock face and wondered if they would live to see sunrise.  Read it immediately, I do every summer, and laugh so hard I cry each time. 

2.) Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer

No one is as synonymous with adventure writing than Jon Krakauer, and although he is still writing, this will probably remain his best book of all time.  Climbers, Alpinists, and armchair mountaineers know exactly what you are referencing if you simply throw out the date 1996.  In that climbing season 11 climbers perished on the peaks of Everest, many of whom were climbing with Krakauer’s team in May of 1996.  His team was descending from the summit when a storm engulfed multiple parties on the mountain killing and severely injuring several people.  Into Thin Air is an account of the disaster and heroism from Jon’s perspective (which is hotly debated to this day by climbers).  It is gripping and engulfs me every time I read it.  Leave yourself a lot of time if you pick up this book, it will monopolize your brain until the end. The biggest plus to this book is that while most adventure writers are outdoor athletes turned writer’s to finance expeditions… Krakauer is nothing of the sort.  He is equally adept in both fields, and his writing is exceptional.

 

 

 

3.) The Climb by Anatoli Boukreev

This book is on the list purely because it tells the tale of Into Thin Air from the opposite perspective.  Before Into Thin Air was published, Krakauer (working at the time for Outside magazine) published an article immediately after the accident in Outside magazine criticizing Boureev’s team for their actions on the mountain.  While not well written, (some is lost in translation as Anatoli’s native language is Russian), if you are captivated by Krakauer, it is fascinating to read about that day from the other perspective.  Outdoor aficionado’s usually have strong opinions about whose account was more accurate.. so pick it up and join in the debate.  Just how much did oxygen deprivation cloud each man’s judgement and memory? Read the books and venture a guess.

4.) Four Corners: A Journey Into the Heart of Papua New Guinea By Kira Salak

Salak is a contributing editor to National Geographic Adventure Magazine, and a winner of multiple travel and adventure writing awards. She is known for her completely wild solo exploits around the globe in danger zones avoided by some of the most seasoned war photographers.  Her writing is superb, and while her other popular book, the Longest Journey, which chronicles her solo trek in an inflatable kayak to Timbuktu, is enticing, the PNG one wins my vote for the list. Full disclosure, part of my love for the book is because I spent a couple months in between high school and college traveling in the same region.  Papua New Guinea is a forgotten travel destination, and I continue to wonder why as it offers the true adventure traveler an idyllic experience truly void of overweight wealthy Americans with fanny packs and Europeans with expensive luggage and frighteningly tight speedos.  Salak treks solo through the jungle into areas still practicing cannibalism, with no hope of rescue, and some tribal areas that literally have never seen white people. As someone who has traveled there myself, the danger for women even for a few hours alone is staggering.  No matter where I travel, PNG remains the most frightening for me as a chick. The draw for Salak and others to PNG is that it is one of the areas that globalization has yet to really consume, although given the fate of other much loved places, its time could soon come.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5.) Alive: The Story of the Andes Survivors by Piers Paul Read

Most have either seen the movie or are familiar with the story of the 45 rugby players and supporters who crashed into the Andean high peaks in 1972, but fewer have actually read the book which is a shame.  Out of 45 passengers, only 16 survived through extreme circumstances like eating the body of your dead friend. This book is an absolute must read, and the story of triumph, survival, and heartache will stand as one of the greatest survival narratives of the century. Once again, leave yourself a day or two if you begin it, because unless you already know details of the outcome, you will likely be glued to the book. 

 

6.) Touching the Void, by Joe Simpson

In 1985 Simpson and his partner were attempting the summit of the Siula Granda in the Peruvian Andes, when Joe breaks his leg on the descent and his partner tries to rescue him.  I actually saw the docu-drama of this story before reading the book, and I still cannot decide which is better.  The documentary of this story was so painful to watch that my jaw hurt the next day because I was clenching my teeth so tightly while watching it. I don’t want to say much about this story, because it is not well-known outside of the outdoor community, and it is in the most astounding survival story of climbing I have ever read; so I’d rather not spoil it for you. It is a phenomenal blend of exploring the thoughts and emotions of Simpson and his partner with the events as they are unfolding.  What happens to Simpson in this book will absolutely blow your mind.

 

 

7.) We Die Alone: A WWII Epic of Escape and Endurance by David Howarth

In this account of the 1943 escape of Jan Baalsrud from the Nazi’s in Norway after an ambush, the details of the story are so extreme that if I had been told it was a fiction instead of a non-fiction I would have found it much more plausible.  Baalsrud astonishingly fights of avalanches, frost bite, Nazi’s, food deprivation, and his own mental demons to survive a Nordic winter solo and unplanned.  The tenacity of Baalsrud mixed with his quiet demeanor makes the reader feel like Jason Bourne is a boy scout car camping with a toy bow and arrow.  As an added bonus, if you are someone captivated by pictures and dreams of massive fjords, the imagery of the landscape is phenomenal. 

8.) The Places in Between by Rory Stewart

Rory Stewart, the now ubiquitous Scottish socialite turned Afghani human rights advocate takes the reader into a region that most Westerners could not even find on a map prior to 9/11.  In 2002 Stewart walked across Afghanistan through mountain passes, desert, and teenage soldiers.  The book does an excellent job of mixing and explaining culture and ideology with the history of a region most know nothing about.  I will fully admit that prior to my read of this book I thought of Afghanistan as a desert wasteland with a boring history.  Stewart’s book more than proved me wrong. 

9.) Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer

Krakauer makes the list twice for his short account of Chris McCandless’ escape from society into the wilds of Alaska where he ultimately meets his demise.  I will be up front that this book is not an uplifting tale with a wonderful ending of happiness and glee, but it is a classic story of something many dream of and few attempt:  Completely abandoning societal trappings in an attempt to survive in the wilderness.  Others have attempted and completed this feat without incident, and lived to write the tale, but there is something unique to Krakauer’s writings and my generations’ obsession with this story that makes “Alexander Supertramp,” suck us all in.  And yes, as usual, the book is better than the movie.

 

 

10.) Where the Mountain Casts Its Shadow by Maria Coffey

So I am realizing that I somehow subconsciously left the two sad and contemplative books for the end, but nevertheless I do love this book.  Rather than an adventurous account of a mountaineer overcoming adversity, this is Coffey’s examination of what happens to the families and communities of those who die in the mountains pursuing their love of risk and adventure. Coffey’s boyfriend Joe Tasker passed away on the north ridge of Everest, and it had a profound effect on her and her family for life.  She dares to raise and discuss the question many extreme outdoor athletes avoid… “Do they have the right to take such risks? What, if any, benefit does it hold for their family and society and large?”  I have yet, and hopefully never will, receive the phone call she does informing her of the death of a loved one in the place they love more than anything, but the book does give me pause as we have vicariously “known,” more than a couple who died or came close in this way.  The book puts the stories you hear at the campfire or at the rock wall of the most recent death of that season into a different perspective.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pastors have long known that the magic age for a new convert or a former church kid to re-enter the church is right about the time their first kid turns 18 mos. old. When a couple is pregnant, they dutifully read and obsess over things like the ferber method, attachment parenting, bottle v. breast (cosmic showdown BELIEVE ME!), and  au natural v. the pagan epidural (cosmic showdown II).  What said couple learns very quickly is that the baby stage, while sleep depriving, is actually the easiest.  They’re immobile, don’t speak, and unless they have extreme colic will even sleep cozily underneath a restaurant table in their infant seat. When they emerge from their sleep deprived coma it dawns on them that they should either a.) figure out a place to baptize their kid who is now walking and conducting death defying stunts like jumping off the couch  and putting the fear of God into their parents or b.) figure out a place to give their kid morals after they are now running, throwing, kicking, biting, and all of the other fun things young toddlers do. 

  This path inevitably leads many young families to church for the first time since they sang Kum Ba Yah at young life camp when they were 17 and had a crush on someone on the trip.  Being out of that church loop for awhile can be really disorienting, so I would like to kindly offer a primer to introduce you to the EPIC BATTLE AND DECISION that awaits you: PUBLIC? HOMESCHOOL? OR PRIVATE? (CHRISTIAN PRIVATE).  

   Right about the time your first child is old enough to possibly consider preschool, you are expected to not only have made a trajectory decision about your choice in preschool and Kindergarten, but you must also have a theological underpinning to back you up and a selection of books from a Christian author bolstering your case.  This can be tricky though, because few people would ever ask you directly where you plan to send your child to school and why.. in church culture it’s like asking white people about how much money they make.. some things you just don’t do! 

  The first few times someone asks you, you may  not even recognize what they are asking, and if you are reading this, the dimmer switch is probably growing brighter with understanding as you re-process some of the following conversations you are guaranteed to have or have had already: 

I. The Awkward Silence: 

So there you are, rocking a small group for the first time at your snazzy new church, and you are considering buying a house in the ‘burbs and sub-letting or selling your “to die for” loft in a recently gentrified neighborhood. Like any normal water cooler or play date conversation you confidently ask the group assembled around a jellied dessert in a 9 x 13 pan, which school district is best to buy a house in. Instead of the swarm of real estate data and opinions you expect, you are met with dead silence as all 5 conversations in the room cease and everyone stares at you.  You mentally review your comment to make sure you didn’t subconsciously substitute a sexual innuendo or curse word in one of your sentences, but realize that no, you said exactly what you thought you did… What’s happening?!!!

You are experiencing the awkward silence… this is church, we don’t ask about that sort of thing here. Clearly you are an outsider because you have not yet mastered the art of concealing your question as a trojan horse designed to exploit the weaknesses in your “enemies” defenses, theological logic, or clearly inferior parenting skills (parenting is a competitive sport now, in case you hadn’t picked that up). The only thing that can brand you as an outsider faster than this faux paux is cursing, so get your game face on!

II. The Trojan Horse

In the trojan horse, the conversation initiator is guaranteed to possess five characteristics. 1.) an extremely opinionated viewpoint on how not only their child should be educated, but yours as well. 2.) a mastery of the art of not asking what they are actually asking that could stall the most seasoned litigator. 3.) an extreme example of an extended family member who choose the “wrong” method of education and now has a tattooed child with an emergent blog to show for it. 4.) An arsenal of Christian books designed to sway you to their side. 5.) They are considered an “evangelist” for their educational method of choice by people on facebook. 

Their line of questioning will begin like this.. 

Person I: “So, I heard you were thinking of buying a house?” 

you: “Yah, I was thinking about the apple blossom district.” 

Person I: “Hmm.. interesting choice. You know we live in the cherry blossom district, but the apple district is nice too.”

you: What do you mean? Are there better bike paths and closer access to trader joe’s in cherry?”

Person I: “Well, yes, but those are just perks for us. Add ons if you will. But they really don’t matter that much to us.”

You: (you are confused and wondering why they would mention them if they are not a big deal, instead you say:) “Why doesn’t it matter? what does?”

Person I: “Well, cherry is a nice district and it does keep our home value high when we eventually sell and downside to pay for the kiddo’s to go to Wheaton, Cedarville, or Liberty, but since we send our kids to a private Christian school there really is no need to be concerned about the public school system. Especially since there are lots of after school activities and even a young life chapter at the Christian school. Did I mention the township offers busing to the school? My wife doesn’t even have to carpool from the cherry district. Does the apple district offer free busing to the Christian school?”

You: (stunned you realize this ninja has just asked you a. your plan for your child’s future b.) given their opinion on it c.) cleverly inquired how much money you make by feeling out if you could afford said private school. d.) managed to let you know how much they make without saying how much they make.)  You stammer a few lines about living close enough for the in-laws to sit for you, realize you are now stressed about a decision you previously thought little of, and instead blurt out a prayer request on seeking God’s will for your 18 mo. olds Kindergarten decision.

Person I: They put their arm around your should and assuredly say, “I am always praying for you.. on another note, I have this parenting book I would love to give you a copy of…”

This past week my spouse’s family buried the 3rd grandparent and 4th relative in a year and half, but it was a beautiful time.  When you become married you acquire not just a spouse and some sweet wedding swag, but their habits and their extended family as well.  For me, the fusion of our two families has been an exercise in experiencing what life is like in a family (both sides) that is rooted primarily around Jesus.  There are the random relatives that are not followers of Jesus, but by and large, Christianity permeates their relationships.  The aberration in his extended family is the one who does not believe; the aberration in my extended family was the one who does.  That simple fact shaped our spiritualities very differently, and creates a very different atmosphere when someone’s physical body passes from life to death. 

    Yesterday I had the privilege of watching him perform the graveside service for his grandma, and while sad, it was exciting to celebrate the hope of those in attendance because there is such a different spirit of grief when you are amongst believers.  Thinking of my own family of origin, each of these believer’s funerals I have attended with his family have been very painful.  Something my husband shared yesterday was that death is not natural… our souls were designed for life.  Sin and the brokenness of a fallen world have marred that.  Our culture tells us death is a natural part of the life cycle to cushion the blow as a physical life is extinguished.  

    Watching few other people work with us in ministry has been as rewarding as watching God work in our friend Heather.  We worked together with her early in our ministry, and she has always been a source of inspiration, satirical comedy gold, and encouragement.  A few months ago, at 36 she found out she was facing a physically scary and demanding cancer that is invading her body.  Just this week she posted about her experiences thinking about death and life, and it is a great extension of what my husband shared at the funeral.  Read it; it will encourage you.

My fave quote: “Death belongs to Satan. Life belongs to Christ.”